Thursday, October 2, 2014

some stuff in relations to my san diego problems; it's a responce to a facebook friend

Well, I thought I'd note that I won my first and only chess game this morning.  I could have dragged it out a bit longer and decimated the computer some more; but, I ended it pretty quickly.  I now have a five or six win buffer to my draws.  I've lost a few games here and there; but, I don't recall how many.  Have you done a group theory analyses of each chess piece? I've come to like chess more and more over the last few years since meeting you.  I look forward to seeing what it's like playing against a competent human!

I'd like to answer my facebook friends count and whether I've changed since my military days in one. I remember changing a bit around puberty. Before puberty and maybe around that time, I was a lot more active with people and friends. I had my best friend I would say, for the most part yes, my best friend before you - B.J. I'm not sure of his last name anymore. We met while living in W.S.M.R(white sands missile range), New Mexico. I know my mother stays in contact with her W.S.M.R. New Mexico friend, and they know B.J.  But, my mother never mentions him to me, and he's never tried contacting me. Since moving to Poway, San Diego after then, I've always either just had 'school' friends or 'bus' friends; but, I never hung out with any more than one person at a time since then.  Let me stress and make clear that back before moving to Poway, San Diego, I hung out with anybody and everybody, and got in various troubles. 

I remember in Sicily, I did all kinds of things; I showed my pee pee to girls; I had teens asking me to have sex with them; I broke into schools.  Whomever I was hanging out with considered me their climb into tight spaces guy.  They had me climb up pipes along the sides of the school to get inside the school. When that didn't work, we broke the glass door. I remember getting a bloody elbow.  I didn't know it till someone told me.  It didn't hurt. This was like first grade.  The Sicilians decided to hold me back a grade from all my activities. I went into peoples houses and stole the kids toys and gave them to others. My father found me playing with the bow and arrow in the backyard . . .  Somemore I can remember of my Sicilian days was some teen guy had me sneaking into the commissary(the navy food store).  We'd hang out behind adults and act like we were their kids; we'd then proceed to steal candy bars. I suppose Sicily times were my wildest; but, I did some stuff in W.S.M.R.

I honestly only remember doing one bad thing in W.S.M.R. I cheap shotted some girl.  It was during the fifth grade. We had previously during class time got into a lame scuffle. I was talking with some people at one table, she was at another table; and for some strange reason she picked a fight with me; and we just kind of pushed each other around. The teacher was out of the room. After school, I was walking with two guys who were telling me to go hit her, and I did so.  I didn't get in trouble, even though I saw her telling some adults and pointing me out. I can only imagine that they thought this was out of character and just too odd. I don't know if they got the story about our previous in class fighting, or why that would matter. Remarkably, we became friends in the sixth grade. We played tether ball together(I was the tether ball king). Once again, when I moved to Poway . . . if there was one time in my life where I really changed, it was then.  Like I said, at that time, I've never really had more than one or two friends at any one time.  The one Poway friend was kind of interesting.

Jia Arnold.  I'm not sure if it's Jai, or Jia. But, we had previously met in Monterey, San Francisco area, when even younger.  We were of course both military brats as they like to call children of military folk. We did some damage together as I've been reminded, but not that bad. When in Poway, the age difference maybe took affect a lot more.  He was also into hard core punk music. Here's an example! . I'd say Agnostic front was literaly the best of the hard core punk he thought was the best music in the world! I couldn't get this guy to hike out in twin peeks hills by my house.  I could literally walk out of the house and go hiking in this indian preserved hiking spot.  It's still there.  We played lots of Risk and a space colonization and conquer game together while he'd try to convince me that hard core punk rock was the shit. I'd sit there and head bang trying to like Dr No and circle jerks!  He made a recording of his stuff; I eventually recorded over it.  He came over to my house one day and discovered that I had recorded Kingdom Come and Z.Z. Top over the backside.  He didn't like me ever again!  Honestly, he was a good and smart guy; but, maybe at the time, a little confused kid!  Last I've heard, he got married in some oriental clothes.  I remember he had learned Japanese while his family was stationed in Japan.  I'm sure he grew up. I'm a little disappointed he's never tried to contact me.  I can't believe he can't get over whatever little things happened there.  Oh well!  so far.  Best I can tell, he doesn't have a facebook. Or, I can't tell how he's changed facially.

I've had one odd person try to contact me. She said she knew me and we used to play together in Monterey. I don't remember her at all. The only girls I remember is Alice and Shannon; but, anyways.  She said her mother was dieing and to ask me to tell my mother.  So I did.  I know they talked.

So, once again, if I ever changed much in my life, it was from W.S.M.R to Poway. Changed outside of the military;  about the only thing I changed when I got out was my cussing.  I was cussing king in the military.

This has gotten to be a bit of a long reply as it is. I suppose I have more explaining my my facebook friend count. I'm currently taking a bio class and hope to get a more job specific degree.  In Grossmont college, biotech jobs are more or less their specialty.  I can get a job with about two or three more classes which are probably easier than this general bio class.  I can even go on and get a four year degree while working.  And then, I hope to work more on a mathematics degree. I'm not worried about age.  The future is coming; I'm one hundred percent convinced that we will live for a very long time and in pretty good health. To say the least, I don't see anybody from bio class lining up to sign on to facebook!  I hang out in the library; I don't see anybody there who seems interested in talking about whatever books I'm reading and so on. Don't know what to tell you Nisal!  I could talk about some of those I met when I first went to Grossmont when I first got out of the U.S. Navy.

To say the least, the only intellectuals I meet are these philosopher degree guys. And, the bus guy never invited me or ever wanted to hang out. I keep thinking he felt embarrassed about being in my presence around his friends. I never even knew his name.  But, we talked a lot on the bus systems and whenever we met in Grossmont college. Then there was Todd Walton. He was a former Navy submarine nuclear power tech - yea.  I remember taking him up mount woodson to hike. I told him previously to bring water.  He did not.  He got tired almost half way up.  I went running ahead for a little bit to see if I could find the peak.  I could not.  I came back and he was upset.  He was like, 'and oh look, there's a snake; it could have bit me.'  There was no snake, and if had been just standing there where I left him, he would not have had a problem along with all the other hikers passing by; but, he was totally freaking. There was some stuff before then though.  I forget the comments, but I found them odd. He mailed me without me knowing it, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance." I read it; it's a good book. But, I had been recommended this book before by an English teacher with some interest in science. Seems that lots of people think this book argues that some scientists get ultra rationalist and this isn't good or something. I found quite the opposite.  At the end, he says, 'should I apologize?' He said no(the author of Zen and Art of . . .). But, I keep getting recommended this book.  My mom, years after Todd Walton had mailed me this book(I still have the package sitting on a chair in my room), put a icon on the computer screen for this book. She didn't say anything other than, 'do you check the computer icons?'(I don't generaly; the're mostly for her). I didn't tell her, I've already read it. But, further odditly about all this is that my sister recommended me to read the sequel(Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance) I never did. But, I found that odd and many comments she would make to me.  I'm forgetting these odd comments. It's like we're talking about one thing, and then all of a sudden she slips in something really out of left field. Similarly, I remember that there were comments that would come way out of nowhere.  I've been waiting for him to come clean, but he's never done so.

- note; there's a lined section; I hit something while typing.  Some function combo did that.  I didn't mean to set the last few sentences apart like that.  If you type keys at random, sometimes you hit some function . . . !

I can't help noting that when I finished buying something at the local Alpine supermarket, some baggage handler said 'freak' while passing by.  It's like, I don't go get drunk at the local Alpine fine restaurant, Mediterraeneos(which is o.k but not that good; it's more of an o.k. Italian restaurant with a bar to spice things up because it's not that good), and so, I must be some kind of freak. I got asked by a classmate just the last class meeting why I come early. I told her, traffic.  She wasn't satisfied for some strange reason. I mean I come early and read and study before class. These people are paranoid.  I remember when first living in Alpine, I used to hike from my house to the Mexican restaurant. I'd have to pass by the police department, and go down these steps(which no longer are there), cross the street and go to Mananas(a Mexican restaurant which is still here and has even expanded). One time, I passed by the police department, which is one again just happens to be along the way, and there was a police car there, engine, running, keys in the car, with a heavy duty caliper shotgun if I was crazy enough to do something like that.   I remember checking out a radioshack's electronics.  I had just gotten out of the navy, and I had been an avionic tech. I was checking out all the resistors, caps, and so on just for fun; the store clerk looks like he's about to call the police!  The guy looked like he was worried I was going to steal something right in front of him!  Or, heaven forbid, buy some of these electronic components and create a nuclear bomb or something!

I can't remember exactly what my sister and Todd said, but I'd like to give some examples.  I've been trying to remember and keep examples of these things that I'm hearing of what I call vagueness games. This one comes from my father,

"The rice is really good". My father seems to have this tendency to try to get you to do something like eat his food.  This is certainly a harmless example.  But, the way he does it proves vagueness gaming.  He tells you the rice is good even though the main part of the meal is chili, he's trying to get you to eat the food from the day before.

See, there were leftovers, and he wanted me to eat them, so he says, "the rice is really good."  Here's another,

", my family had their thanksgiving, and my father wanted me to take a shower. I'm assuming this because he couldn't ask me about taking a shower, He always had to speak indirectly.         He'd say things like there's plenty of hot water," 

Once again, a perfectly harmless example; but, if proves the mental games, the indirect, not wanting to say exactly what's on his mind. The constant shoving of "Zen and the Art of Motorcyle Maintenance" is a form of this social game that I'm seeing.  I call it throwing word grenades.  They throw these word grenades at me, and then they rush out of the room so I can't reply.  I like this one scene in the movie "Ladyhawke" where the rebel who rescues an escaped convict(for stealing food because he's hungry) finds a couple out in the woods.  The couple are busy working, they two guys come in on a black horse, and ask these two woods people if they can stay over night.  The escaped convict offers money(whom he stole off a soldier sitting on the side of the water mote that surrounds the castle; you have to see the movie to laugh at this), but the two are so frightened at the two 'strangers'; but, they point to some little place without saying anything.  I mean this is how these Alpinoes are acting half the time, and these military officers, chiefs, you name it! They play all these vagueness games that I gave two examples of above.

You ask me why I have the facebook friends I have brother Nisal. I give the non-family reasons.  As for my family and relatives. I've not had my immediate family; non have asked me to link up on facebook  I was on first. And you've seen that entire evolution. I've had two relatives(three counting my aunt and uncle who shared a facebook). I got rid of them for various reasons. One was a George Loretto.  We've never gotten along since toddler youth.  He used to beat me up and harass me since we met. I don't get along at all with his militant Christian mother/father. The aunt and uncle were probably my best shot, and I don't know what happened with them.  I guess there was a couple of others. They left when I tried to get off of facebook. I know that my mother and my sister are not talking; I don't know what's going on.  Once again, non of my immediate family has ever expressed an interest in connecting.